It's the eve of my birthday. It's scary to admit and I know most of you out there won't believe it, but I am turning the big 4-0. I have fooled many, including myself for too many years and now I have to face reality and the anxiety it's causing me.
It goes back to the best year I had, the year I turned 27 and the decision I made to remain there. No joke, birthdays would come and I'd still be 27, it was blissful.
Then came Jesse into our world, a gift we waited 8 years for and the realization on my birthday that year that I would now have to age with my kids. Reasoning was that I couldn't still be 27 when he turned 27! So, the year we got Jesse I began aging again and turned 28. That means that this year, in my heart, mind, body and to the very bottom of my soul I am 32. Sound good? I've justified it to myself, but I am having internal conflict I have never had before. Is this some sort of mid-life crisis? I don't know, maybe it'll hit me tomorrow - on my 40th/32nd birthday. I love the saying on a fridge magnet I was given a couple of birthdays ago - "If you haven't grown up by age 40 . . . you don't have to." AND I don't, won't and can't!
4 comments:
I got my answer. Happy Birthday tomorrow !
I love that saying. I'm going to use it. :)
Lets both stay 32 forever. now wait. forevaaaa ! ha ha
Happy Birthday!!!!! Hope you have a great 32nd birthday and that all your dreams come true (and eat lots of cake and ice cream!) I think 27 sounds like a great number to keep and maybe I may just go back to being 27 myself.
32 - that's a good age. I think I will be that with you!
Have a GREAT day!! You are only as old as you think you are!! Stay young and you will think that you are!! Love, J
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